What INTJs Need to Know in Order to Mature
Kevin Price, Editor at Large for USA Business Radio and Host of the Price of Business Show, has recently become hooked on Quora. In addition to daily hosting the Price of Business, Kevin has numerous writing obligations on this and other sites for which he serves as an editor and with his syndicated column, so we decided that if he’s going to write at Quora, he is going to share that content on this website. If you are on Quora, make sure to follow Kevin. You can check out his page here.
Kevin’s hot topics on Quora are history, free market economics, philosophy, and Myers Briggs typology, and many others. The following is one of his recent answers to the question in the title.
I think the most important thing an INTJ can do to become mature, is to recognize their areas of immaturity. For many INTJs this is incredibly challenging. INTJs are generally very intellectually smart, which makes them fall in the trap of dismissing the things others know and downplaying the influence of others in their relationships. In spite of how smart INTJs are, they are often insecure and feel alien towards others — they are like “strangers in a strange land.”
The two biggest anchors of our immaturity are found in the way we deal with emotions and senses. The greatest weakness of the INTJ is sensing, we can get caught up in our own world of binging on things (from information to drugs, you name it) to check out, which makes isolation even easier for us (and it is a default position anyway for this type). “Sensing” is the INTJ’s 3 year old. In some ways, even worse, is out problem with feelings and emotions. That is the INTJs ten year old. They say the biggest fear of an INTJ is to be vulnerable. Therefore a common attitude among INTJs is to “not go there” when it comes to emotions. Without working through sensing and emotions, we will be stuck in our immaturity. We have to become connected with ourselves, to get connected with others.
Because of the INTJs problem with relationships accompanied by our ability to extrapolate how things will unfold and being more than willing to discuss it, most of the other types do not get us. They find us arrogant and tactless.
The immature INTJ lacks empathy. As a result, these INTJs often use their ability to use information harshly, their fear of relationship makes them act arrogant, and the other less flattering sides of an INTJ will be found on display. People know when they see an immature INTJ, I believe (even if they are not familiar with Myers-Briggs Typology). Therefore, developing empathy is crucial for the INTJ to be able to be a better person and to have relationship with others.
Another challenge for the INTJ is their introversion. They are the second most introverted after INTPs. In order to learn how to develop their emotions and become better rounded, the INTJ needs to work on engaging more with others. This does not mean becoming a party animal. In fact, they will never thrive well in a crowd, but developing friendships are important for the INTJ in order to expand his or her horizons. For me, I have made friendship a discipline. I do not go a week without doing something with one or a few friends. Otherwise, in no time, I can find myself in long term isolation, which is a huge source of the INTJs… (read more, while there FOLLOW Kevin and check out more of his work)
