How are Healthy and Unhealthy INTJs Different?
Kevin Price, Editor at Large for USA Business Radio and Host of the Price of Business Show, has recently become hooked on Quora. In addition to daily hosting the Price of Business, Kevin has numerous writing obligations on this and other sites for which he serves as an editor and with his syndicated column, so we decided that if he’s going to write at Quora, he is going to share that content on this website. If you are on Quora, make sure to follow Kevin. You can check out his page here.
Kevin’s hot topics on Quora are history, free market economics, philosophy, and Myers Briggs typology, and many others. The following is one of his recent answers to the question in the title.
As an INTJ there are few (if any) MBTI types where it is easier to tell a difference between a healthy and unhealthy one than the INTJ.
Virtually all INTJs are generally intellectually smart, which makes them fall in the trap of dismissing the things others know and downplaying the influence of others in their relationships. In spite of how smart INTJs are, they are often insecure and feel alien towards others — they are like “strangers in a strange land” (a sentiment they share with INFJs, which are both “introverted intuitives,” which is different from every other type).
The two biggest anchors of the INTJs immaturity are found in the way we deal with emotions and senses. The greatest weakness of the INTJ is sensing, we can get caught up in our own world of binging on things (from information to drugs, you name it) to checking out, which makes isolation even easier for us (and it is a default position anyway for this type). “Sensing” is the INTJ’s 3 year old. In some ways, even worse, is out problem with feelings and emotions. That is the INTJs ten year old. They say the biggest fear of an INTJ is to be vulnerable. Therefore a common attitude among INTJs is to “not go there” when it comes to emotions. Without working through sensing and emotions, we will be stuck in our immaturity. We have to become connected with ourselves in order to get connected with others.
Because of the INTJs problem with relationships accompanied by our ability to extrapolate how things will unfold and being more than willing to discuss it, most of the other types do not get us. They find us arrogant and tactless. A healthy INTJ recognizes how different he is and compensates for that in his relationships with others.
The healthy INTJ lacks empathy. As a result, these INTJs often use their ability to use information harshly, their fear of relationship makes them act arrogant, and the other less flattering sides of an INTJ will be found on display. People know when they see an unhealthy INTJ, I believe (even if they are not familiar with Myers-Briggs Typology). Therefore, developing empathy is crucial for the INTJ to be able to be a healthier and happier person, as well as to have relationship with others.
Another challenge for the INTJ is their introversion. They are the second most introverted after INTPs. In order to learn how to develop their emotions and become better rounded, the INTJ needs to work on engaging more with others. This does not mean becoming a party animal. In fact, they will never thrive well in a crowd, but developing friendships are important for the INTJ in order to expand his or her horizons. For me, I have made friendship a discipline. I do not go a week without doing something with one or a few friends. Otherwise, in no time, I can find myself in long term isolation, which is a huge source of the INTJs immaturity (we quickly fail at “playing well” with others). The INTJ can easily go through seasons of where they do not want to be with others. This is not “isolation” per se, but it paves the way for such rather easily. I do things with friends and family on a weekly basis — is I want to or not.
It is important for the INTJ to develop good self care in order to become healthier. Pampering oneself, networking with clients, reading and watching information that makes one more balanced, and getting plenty of rest are always important to an INTJs well being. Because of our 3 year old “sensing” issues — the desire to binge and not practice discipline in this area, we can spiral pretty quickly into… (READ MORE)
